Lyla's last week with me

Today marks her 14 month birthday and with that, her last week with me at work. In some ways I am looking forward to having a little more independence and improving my productivity at work. On the other hand, I know that this has been a very special time in both of our lives and we got to share these last few months together...........now it is coming to an end.

Selfishly, I wish I could keep her with me forever, but she is her own little independent person now and she requires more attention and yearns for discovery and exploration of new things. I am also very sad today that this is her last day at the Playhouse. They loved and cared for her so well the few hours a week she was there. Words can not express how sad I am that we couldn't make it work out long-term. The hours and money just wouldn't allow it and I can only pray that her full time school is just as great. That would be a true blessing. I hope as a mommy that I am making the right decision for her and that she will be as happy going forward as she has been in the past. :)

A new beginning

After Lyla turned 1 year I told myself that I wasn't going to feel obligated to update my blog every single month however, this month is different because we have been through so many changes.

First of all, we FINALLY moved! Oh my gosh, the move was absolutely brutal. It rained the entire time. We ran out of room on the moving truck so we had to go rent an additional trailer. The house BARELY got finished in time for us to move it. In fact, we still don't have a yard, just a big muddy mess! Despite all of this I am so incredibly excited and thankful that things worked out the way it did and that we are exactly where we want to be. It was only by the grace of God that things worked out perfectly. What a true blessing and thankful doesn't begin to describe what I feel right now.

The house will be a work in progress for a while, at least in terms of getting settled in and decorated. That is the way it always goes and so I just have to find the patience......and money until then.

Lyla has adjusted great! She had to sleep in her pack-in-play a couple of night but it didn't seem to bother her a bit. She loves her new room with all the extra space for toys and such. The big news with her is that she is taking steps! Baby ones, but yes, they are steps. She is getting a little braver every day and thinks her new found adventure is hilarious!

Among all the chaos we did actually find time to have a family photo shoot. Jennifer Matlock did such a great job, especially with Lyla not feeling her best that day.

I just wanted to thank everyone that has been thinking of us and praying for us. We sure have felt the pressence of the Lord over the past few weeks.

1 year!

Wow, this week came and went so quickly I just realized that I hadn't posted her about her being a year old! The past year has truly been the most precious and special time of my life. While it is has gone by lightening fast, it has been a year full of many blessings. Lyla has brought something to my life that I could have never imagined and now that I have it, I can't imagine my life without it. I guess only a parent can really understand what I am saying, but what a true blessing having a child is. I could never ask or hope for more than what God has given me with Lyla. She fills my heart with happiness every single day and I am pretty sure that goes for her daddy as well. I have never seen two peoples' face light up the way theirs do when they see each other. It is such a precious moment and an honor to be able to witness. They will never know how sweet the two of them are together.

I honestly can not believe it has been a year since I went through 24 hours of labor and gave birth. In some ways it seems like an eternity ago, but in others, just yesterday. I can only hope and pray that the rest of my life is blessed half as much as my first 30 years have been. Honestly, a person couldn't ask for much more. I am so proud to be her mommy!

11 months

This was a really hard month for me. A great month for Lyla, but everything just kind of hit me. Oh my gosh, she is about to be one! Are you serious? Where did the last year of our lives go? I guess we must have had a lot of fun because time sure did fly by.

While Lyla finally started walking, crawling and cruising literally from one day to the next, I found myself mourning. I felt sad about losing my little girl because she no longer acts like a baby. She is turning into a big girl right before my eyes. Her little face is changing with the coming of every tooth, which is 6 now. Her communication is definitely developing. She has learned to point and shake her head no to let us know what she wants and doesn't want. She will waive her hands to show me the sign "all done." And oh goodness is she talkative! Her favorite words are "dada", "duck", "dog", "hi", "bye bye", "baby" and sometimes "mama". Oh, oh, oh, I totally forgot to add that she is finally giving kisses!!! I love it so much, but I think it absolutely melts daddy's heart.

I think we are going to have little socialite on our hands. She is so friendly. Everywhere she goes, she just smiles and waves at everyone like she has known people her whole life. With every smile and giggle you can really see the true nature of her sweet little soul.

So I spent a few days in dumps and now I am over it. I have to be, there is a party to plan. A very special one if I do say so myself. So stay tuned. There will be birthday updates before you know it.

10 Months!

It is mind boggling how your life can change in such a short period of time. The fact that babies develop as rapidly as they do always astonishes me. Ten months ago Lyla was a precious, tiny infant, completely dependent on us for everything and today she is a little person with her own abilities and personality! She has definitely decided that crawling isn't going to be for her. She is 100% content on rolling around and pulling up when she wants to. One of the major developments this past month has been her personality. We have seen so much concentration, determination, a little frustration, lots of smiles and giggles, and communication it amazes me.

She loves to clap, clap, clap and wave occasionally. Bath time is still one of her favorite pastimes. She insists on playing in a standing position most of the time. Oh and I almost forgot to mention that she is taking steps, that's right, steps while holding on to our fingers. She likes to move along the couch, stepping side to side to transition between her toys. And of course eating....she eats in a progression now. If her favorite foods are on the tray, she will pick all of it out and eat it first, then she eats in order from left to right. We tried several scenarios and she managed to show us that there was a method to her madness. Blueberries are still her all-time favorite, but she also loves her puffs!

We have two teeth on top now, and two more are coming in as we speak. Somehow she got pink eye, so we have been battling that for the past week, but nothing seems to bother her too much, except the eye drops. Holy cow, what an epic battle that is four times a day!

She still comes to work with me most days and loves to play in her jumperoo! Thank goodness she still likes it because I don't know how I would keep her entertained otherwise. I know that I am going to have to find more outside help very soon. It is going to break my heart not having her with me all of the time, but I know it is best for her because deserves the extra attention. So if anyone knows of anyone that keeps kiddos during the day let me know! I have really put off looking because of our pending move.

Speaking of which, after the first of the year we have been showing the house like crazy! Our home will be ready at the end of March and we are so excited!!!! I am having a little bit of a hard time figuring out how I am going to plan Lyla's birthday though, because the move will likely coincide. Oh well! I know it will work out and I have so much to be thankful for and celebrate that I am not going to let the details ruin it.

9 months

I know, I know. I have really fallen off the wagon with posting updates. To be honest, I really haven't felt like saying much. It isn't that anything is wrong or that I am not happy. Things just haven't seemed right. My Granny passing away is still tough to deal with on a daily basis and the holidays just weren't the same. I carry so much guilt because I felt so "blah" this year and it was Lyla's first Christmas, but honestly this was the strangest holiday I have ever had. My Granny always made the holiday special and I just didn't feel right celebrating without her. In addition, Fabian worked a 24 hour shift on Chirstmas and so it felt very lonely not having him with us. I wasn't alone by any means. I was surrounded by my wonderful family, but sometimes you can still be lonely even though you are surrounded by a thousand people.

Anyway, moving on....... Well, a lot is going on with our sweet little Lyla! No, she isn't crawling yet. ARGH! However, she gets where she needs to by rolling around ;) She has also discovered that she no longer likes being on the floor. She wants to see the world from a standing position. In fact, she may skip crawling altogether. We have another tooth that just came in on top. So we are up to three! Her little gums were so red and swollen. I felt so sorry for her. They had blisters and were bleeding :(

She absolutely loves to feed herself, especially blueberries! I have to admit that she is a pretty clean eater. In the past few days she also learned to clap pretty well and wave. It is so adorable!

She had a great time at Christmas! She did great when we visited Santa! I was waiting for her to reach up and pull on his beard, but she was very smiley and behaved like a little lady. While she didn't quite grasp the concept of opening presents she did a little opening on her own. We now have toys everywhere and realized the one thing we forgot to get her is a toy box. Ha! I don't think I have ever seen her more tired than Christmas evening. She fell asleep in the car on the way home around 7, and she didn't wake up until 8am the next morning. Poor baby! All in all, she was trooper, just like always :)

A final tribute

Tuesday, December 2nd is the day I have dreaded since I can remember. Did I know it would be that day, no, but I knew the day would come. That day my precious, sweet, beloved Granny passed away at the age of 75. Her body was broken from years of putting everyone else ahead of herself, and ultimately her own health. Her fight for survival and recovery was a long and hard fought battle but she ultimately lost. Years of diabetes coupled with many other tragic ailments over shadowed her bright and beautiful mind. I know she was so tired and that she fought to stay alive. However, I am so grateful that the moment that our Savior decided to take her to heaven was a peaceful one, taking her ever so gently as she slept through a rare morning snow. But even in death her spirit still lives because I can still feel her with me almost like none of this ever happened. Maybe I am somewhat numb or even in denial because sometimes it doesn't even seem real or maybe its just a dream; I want to wake up.

What can I say about this woman that has been so instrumental in my life to do her justice. I have come to the conclusion that there just aren't any words to express her impact on my life. She has played so many roles in my life and to say that I will miss her will be the greatest understatement I have ever made. She was the most amazing person I have ever known and I know that I am truly blessed to have had her in my life. I have never known anyone as selfless, understanding, forgiving, nurturing, unconditionally loving, and genuine as she was. We had an indescribable bond and love for one another that I know was very rare and special. I am so grateful that she was here to meet Lyla. I only wish Lyla could have known her great-grandmother like I did.

As I sit here, my mind is overwhelmed by the many wonderful things I want to share about her, but the list is too great and I don't think there is enough time in my lifetime to share them all. All I can say is that she was truly a great lady. Her heart was tender, words so soft, sang like an angel, and cooked like the devil. The best way and only way I know how to honor her is to make sure that her legacy lives on through me. I have a responsibility to carry her memory on to my family, especially Lyla. I know that she is watching over me and my family and will be with me forever.

{Granny I love you so much and I am going to miss you with every breath I take. Thank you so much for touching my life.}